you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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