So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
