I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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