the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
