I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
