Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.