just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He better not be in your backpack
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit