spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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