so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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