somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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