He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
