Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
