That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
