i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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