Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
