So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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