i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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