Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
