You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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