if you like me you must not know who I am
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
