is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
