one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
