i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you had me at cake vodka
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
