So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
