id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
