He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
