You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
PANTIES FOUND
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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