Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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