he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
