i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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