matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
