Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
