Whats the glycemic index on semen?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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