Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
