it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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