Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Are my feet made of real feet?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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