Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
