Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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