Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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