He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
