she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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