Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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