Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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