so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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