Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
