Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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