She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
