I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
