The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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