brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
