Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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