Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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