im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
