If i come over, it means nothing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
