I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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