redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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