that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
