i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
