im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
